A Mom's Guilt..

I knew that it would be a big change having 2 kids. Noah is used to having my undivided attention, but now ladybug demands more and more of it. The poor kid is being so patient and good most of the time, and it makes me feel so bad that I can't do all the things that he wants me to. For example, this week, Noah brought me his cup and asked me for "meelk" (milk). I was feeding ladybug at the time, and couldn't get it for him. I told him he would have to wait. He said, "okay mama", and then stood next to me holding his cup. How pathetic is that? Then, it was nice outside, and Noah wanted to play outside. So, we went outside, but then ladybug started to cry, so we had to go inside. I explained to Noah that we couldn't play outside anymore that the baby needed us to go inside. He looked up at me, put his toys back in the sandbox and went inside. I, of course, told him that when Daddy came home, we could play outside again- then it started to pour so Noah never did get to play outside. I have been trying to give him one on one time when ladybug is sleeping, and sometimes I'm able to give him an hour of time before she wakes up, and sometimes it just doesn't happen. I feel like all he does is watch tv, which isn't really true, because he plays with his cars and trains and dinosaurs, he colors and paints and puts stickers on stuff. He also goes into the kitchen and "washes" dishes in the sink, but still I feel guilty. The other day, Noah went upstairs. Normally he comes back down right away with whatever he wanted from his room. After about 10 minutes passed, I went upstairs and he was laying on his stomach on the floor of his room looking at books by himself. He has books down where ladybug and I were, but I think he got tired of her crying and wanted to be by himself. It made me want to cry. I know these first weeks are difficult on everyone, but I didn't realize how difficult it would be on my little boy. I know that he's resilient and will bounce back, but I still feel guilty...