Right Through The Heart...

Being a working mom sucks.  Being a teacher and a working mom has its perks.  Off in the summers, spring break, Christmas break, and now that I am about to have a Kindergartner & a Preschooler (starting tomorrow- sob!) days off when my kids have off.  I know, Juli did preschool in May, and yes, it was traumatic for me.  She took the bus like a big girl and she cried the first day, which broke my heart, especially since I couldn't be there to put her on the bus.  I still watch the video and tear up.  After that day, Juli told everyone, "I rode bus! No kai no more!" Which if you don't understand Juli means, "I rode the bus, I don't cry anymore."

Last night, I was in Noah's room putting him to bed.  "Momma, I don't ever want to be a grown up.  I don't ever want to be apart from you."  Well, who wouldn't melt right there?  I gave him a hug and told him it was going to be a long time before he was a grown up.  "Momma, can you please take me to Kindergarten for my first day?"  We had been preparing Noah for a week that Ryan would be the one taking him to Kindergarten, because since I teach in the same district, it is also my first day of school and I can't miss it (I so wish he started Kindergarten during my plan period or my lunch period).  "No sweetie.  Momma is teaching when it's time for you to go to school, but Daddy is going to work from home and is taking you to school.  But I will be there to pick you up."  "But I don't want Daddy.  I want you."  And then he began to cry.  I pulled him into my lap and walked to the couch.  I held my little boy who used to fit in my lap, but is now all arms and legs (when did that happen?), and I also began to cry.

Being a working mom sucks.

We cried together for a good 10 minutes, and then Ryan and I got him calmed down.  I laid with him in his bed until he was mostly asleep and then left the room.  I don't know how many more of those times I will get before he doesn't want me to snuggle him.  It went so fast.  He was just a baby yesterday and and tomorrow he starts Kindergarten!  She is still a baby to me, and tomorrow she is getting back on the bus!  Time needs to slow down.