First Birthday Party...

Noah got invited to his first birthday party, recently. Our friends, Emily and Derrick's little boy, Logan turned 3 on Sunday. We received an invitation to a party at "Pump It Up"- which is a place full of inflatables- slides, obstacle courses, a giant bouncy house, etc. It's a little kids dream. We put Noah down for an early nap, because we needed him fresh and un"cranky" for the party, especially because he didn't get a nap on Saturday.

We got to the location, and Noah was bursting with excitement. He didn't really know what we were going there to do, but he did see that we had a present with us. When we got there, the employees fawned all over Noah, building up the excitement even more. He got a stamp on his hand, and then we were ushered to a room to wait for everyone to arrive. Then, we got to watch the safety video, which I don't think any of the little kids understood, but that just helped build the excitement.

Finally, we got to go into the first arena. Noah started jumping up and down instead of walking. I was able to get his shoes off and then he and I were off and running. Ryan and I took times holding Juliana and doing the obstacle course with Noah. Finally, both of our arms were tired from helping Noah climb, and I was able to get Noah interested in the big slide. Then it was time to move to the next arena. More fun ensued, and even Juliana did well.

Sadly, our time was up, and Noah was sad. He didn't want to leave the last arena, but then I told him that we were going to go have cake and pizza. He went and sat at the table with all the kids, and he didn't want Momma helping him... until he needed me to cut his pizza. At the end of the party, Noah got a goody bag and gave Logan a hug (the last time Logan and Noah met, Noah was 3 weeks old and Logan was about 7 weeks). He babbled about the party the whole way home. Juliana held it together until we were 20 minutes from home and then she began to scream... which then led to her projectiling all over herself and her car seat as soon as we entered our neighborhood.

I was able to take some pictures with our old camera, which is not as good as our new camera.

Here's a picture of Noah at the top of the slide- look at the smile on his face.

Here's a picture with one of my co-workers, Tye and his son Henry. Both boys didn't want to come down the slide so that we could go to the next arena, so Tye helped out since he was already up there with Henry.

My Meltdown...

I just had a meltdown for about 15 minutes. I am tired, frustrated, and angry. Why can't anyone get Juliana to eat?!? I am tired of trying new things and being hopeful that they will work. I am angry that we try the new things and they don't work.

Juliana's dietician suggested we switch Juliana to a different formula. Neocate- google it, it's ridiculously expensive. About $50 a can, and I'm not talking one of those bigger cans, I'm talking a little bigger than the sample cans the pediatrician gives away. RIDICULOUS! Having a food scientist as a husband, I have learned that the cost to make a product is usually pretty low, but the companies can markup the price because people will pay it.

Juliana does not like the new formula. We mix it in with her old formula. She still won't eat it. Normally she will eat for Ryan. Last night, he tried for 45 minutes to get her to take the bottle. Ryan is a patient man (one of the characteristics I love about him), but even he gave up after 45 minutes and only 2 ounces were downed (I'm rounding up about that).

Today I had an institute day. I was already fairly fragile, as we had a guest speaker for our science bunch. His name is Ken Miller. If you don't know who he is, he co-wrote the Biology textbook that our school district uses. He is a professor at Brown University, and to top things off, he was a key witness in overturning the Pennsylvania ruling about teaching Intelligent Design in school. Yes, he is into evolution, as are most science teachers. I think I am one of the few who believes that God created us and that we didn't emerge from primordial soup. Needless to say, I found his presentation interesting, up until he began to poke fun at Ben Stein and his documentary, "Expelled". If you haven't seen it, you should. Of course, I am one of the people who can think of things to say well after the moment has passed, so I sat there mute while he proposed his thoughts on evolution.

I was already a little on edge. After the institute day, my friend Lauren and I went to the gym to work out (the kids were napping). I had a fairly good workout, and was feeling good. I picked up the kids. That's when the crying began. Noah was crying because he wanted to go home and he's constipated, Juliana was crying because she was tired (and probably hungry because she didn't eat well today). We get home, and I get Noah settled in, and get Juliana out and was in the process of putting her for a nap. She refused to eat for me and continued to scream in my arms as I tried to soothe her. I put her in her crib, she screamed for 25 minutes, while I cried in my room- I didn't want Noah to see me cry. I don't even really know why I cried. This happens every day. Maybe it's because I'm tired, frustrated and angry. Either way, when I called my dad, I told him that I can't do this anymore, which is a lie, because I can and I will do it until the issue gets fixed.

Anyway, she was quiet for about 20 minutes, and now the screaming has resumed. So, I guess I'll go try and feed her and give up on the nap for now.

Sorry if this was a downer for you, but I'm just being honest. This is why when people ask how we are doing, it's just easier to say fine, because otherwise this is what you get.

Honeybells...

When we were growing up, my grandma would order Honeybells for us from Florida. Jaime and I would look forward to January, because that is when they would arrive. Let me tell you about Honeybells. First of all, they are from Florida. Second of all, you CANNOT buy them in the store- which makes them all the more valuable. Third of all, once you taste these orange-hybrids, you will NEVER want a regular, grocery store orange ever again. Those are sub par oranges buy far, and should be sad that they are called "oranges". Honeybells are actually not an orange, they are a hybrid of a tangerine and grapefruit, and are only available in January for a few weeks.

A few Christmas' ago, Dad continued the tradition and started getting Jaime and I our own boxes. These oranges are so JUICY, that a bib is recommended when you eat them. You can literally choke on the juices. I hoard these oranges, so that they can last for a while. Ryan and I will share one for a treat, but Ryan says that I can have all of them, because he knows they are special to me. Noah isn't interested in them yet, so I guess I get them all :-)

I tried to take a picture of them with my camera, but it didn't do them justice, so I got this picture off the internet. Thanks for the Honeybells, Daddy. I haven't choked on the juices yet!

9 Months Old Today...

Today, my baby girl turned 9 months old. It's been a rough ride for her these past 9 months, but she is handling it well. We went for her 9 month check up today. Our pediatrician was impressed with how healthy she looked, despite how little she eats. She has gained almost all the weight she lost from being sick. She is now 15 lbs 2 oz, and 26 inches long. Our doctor was pleased that her head is growing (it's in the 80th percentile) which means that all the calories she is getting are going to her brain development. She is a little behind developmentally, but he was not concerned about it. Plus, she was ahead with some development. We go back in a month for a weight check, and he wrote us a prescription for some VERY expensive formula. It appears that we will have to do battle with the insurance company to get them to cover it, but I WILL win that battle. When Ryan and I do battle together, look out.

Happy 9 months, my little lady bug. We love you so much!

Breakthrough?

Since December we have had issues with our feeding therapist for Juliana. What kind of issues? She just stopped showing up. Didn't return my emails, didn't return Ryan's phone calls. Ryan finally called the company that sent her to us, and they said that she had written in our file "mother decided to use a different therapist". That was news to me. I thought we had clicked pretty well, but apparently I was way off base. If you know me, you also know I have a temper when people lie to me, and I was angry for several days, which is why I had Ryan call the manager (my conversation would have probably included many expletives, due to my lack of filter).

So, Ryan called the company and spoke with the manager. She got us scheduled with a different therapist- Peggy. I also printed out every email exchange between myself and Vicki, as well as the emails that were never answered, so that I could show them to the manager.

We met with Peggy yesterday at her office (kind of a downside, but at least it's close to our house). She was very friendly, and Noah warmed up to her quickly. Juliana took a little longer, but I'm sure that's because Peggy was touching her face and mouth, and that's where Juliana has issues. Since Juliana's bronchitis, she had been drinking on average, 15 ounces a day (sometimes more, sometimes less), and had also been refusing tub foods. Peggy was able to get Juliana to start eating solids again, by using a vibrating spoon. Who knew those existed?!? I didn't. We were able to get her to drink a little bit from the bottle, but not much. Too bad they don't make a vibrating nipple for the bottle (that doesn't sound good, does it?).

When we left, Juliana had a messy face and hands, which in Peggy's words, "is a sign of a successful session". Peggy also let Noah pick out a sticker, because he was so good- she had lots of toys in her office and Noah played quietly on the side while we worked with Juliana.

Hopefully, this time will be different. We will now see Peggy once a week, and I have no idea how long that will continue for. Wish us luck!

A Strong Woman...

My sister, Jaime, is one of the strongest people I know. 6 years ago, she was 19.5 weeks pregnant. 6 years ago she miscarried. I remember getting the call from my parents on January 14 that Bill had taken her to the hospital, Jaime was running a fever and infection had set in. She would most likely miscarry.

Ryan drove us to the hospital and we sat in the waiting room for hours until my dad came out to check if we were there. I remember we prayed around Jaime's bed, asking God for Him to make the decision for them. Then, Ryan and I drove to Jaime and Bill's house, picked up their dog and drove back to our house. I just laid in bed waiting for the phone call to come. It didn't. I called in sick to work, and drove up to the hospital in the morning. We sat in the waiting room taking turns sitting with Jaime. My mom didn't leave her side. Then my mom came and got my dad and I, and we went in to see Jaime holding their little girl, that she had just miscarried. She was so tiny and so beautiful. I studied her, forcing my brain to remember her, fighting my brain injury to not let me forget her. They named her Faith. Later that year, I got her name in Kanji tattooed on my back.

I was so angry with God for many years, for denying Jaime this little girl. Jaime is an amazing mother with 3 beautiful children now, and one waiting for her in Heaven. I can't wait to meet you, Faith. Neither can Ryan, Noah, or Juliana.

I love you Jaime (you too, Bill).

If you think of it, please pray for the little girl that they sponsor who shares Faith's birthday. She is from Haiti and they don't know if she is alright.

Juliana Has A LOT To Say...

Juliana is finally feeling better- yay! Jaime and Bill let us borrow their jumper because Juliana loves to "jump". I took some video with our old camera, and as you can see, she has a lot to say! Jaime and Bill, thanks for letting us borrow this, she LOVES it! And yes, she is in the doorway to our basement (we finished part of it)- it's the only doorway besides the bathroom on that level.