My Heart...

"Mom, I thought we were going to work on getting Buster to sleep in my bed every night?" Noah asked last night (Noah desperately wants Buster to sleep in his bed with him at night). 

"We are, buddy, but Buster is sad tonight, so we are just going to leave him alone tonight," I said. 

"Is it because Finchy isn't home?" 

"Yes.  He misses Finchy." 

"I miss Finchy too.  When is he going to come home from the animal hospital?" 

"Ummm.  Finchy is pretty sick.  I am not sure if he is going to come home from the animal hospital." 

"You mean he is going to go to Heaven and be with Jesus and Chili Dawg?" 

"Maybe.  We don't know yet." 

"But I want him to stay!  I LOVE HIM!" 

"Finchy is in a lot of pain, though.  It would be selfish of us to ask him to stay with us when he hurts so badly, don't you think?" 

"Well yeah, but it will hurt us if he has to go away." 

"I know, but sometimes doing the right thing is hard and hurts even though it's the right thing." 

"I feel like my heart is breaking into pieces." 

And then Noah began to sob, and when I say sob, I mean a mournful sob that pierced my heart and broke it into pieces.  He wrapped his arms around my neck and cried and cried, while Ryan and I held him and cried with him. 

Today we find out the results of the last ditch blood test and make our decision about Finchy.  If you have an opportunity, please pray for Noah- he could sure use it.