So, I've recently been watching Jon and Kate Plus 8. I had caught episodes here and there, but I couldn't watch it because Kate is always so mean to Jon. Over Memorial Day weekend, they had a marathon on of Jon and Kate Plus 8 and I got sucked into it while trying to console Juliana. I had seen on the cover of magazines that their marriage was in trouble, but didn't really know what was going on. All I saw during the marathon was Kate constantly yelling at Jon and being critical of him. In my head, I was judging, "Well, if I was constantly yelled at and criticized, I wouldn't be happy either." Then, of course, I was slapped in the face by God silently showing me that I do the same thing to Ryan. For example, this morning I fed Juliana at 2:45 AM. I was unable to fall asleep, so at 5:45 when Ryan asked me if he should feed Juliana before he left, I was not a happy camper. "What, are you new?" I asked him. He just wanted my opinion and I bit his head off. Then, I came downstairs while he was feeding her, and he had all the shades open to let the sun in and wake her up. In my head I had planned on Juliana going back to sleep for a couple more hours, so I say to Ryan, "Are you kidding me?!? You want her up at 6 in the morning? Are you new (yes, this is my new saying)?"
My prayer is that God will soften my words towards Ryan and everyone else I come into contact with. I don't want to be harsh and critical. I want to be slow to speak and slow to anger.