Thursday, November 5, 2009

The Breaking Point...

Last night, the speech therapist came to our house to evaluate Juliana and see if she has a feeding aversion. Well, as I suspected, Juliana has a feeding aversion. Now, she will be having oral aversion therapy 1 night a week. Fortunately, the speech therapist makes house calls. However, she also suggested a referral for a dietician to make sure Juliana is getting the right amount of calories.

At that point, I was ready to start crying. Really? Do we need to add another specialist to our roster of doctors?!? We have the pediatrician and chiropractor (for both kids), we have the opthamologist (for Noah), we have the cardiologist, gastroenterologist, and speech therapist for Juliana. And now we're going to add a dietician?!?

Honestly, I am at my breaking point. I really don't know how much more I can handle. We see some doctor every week. I feel like I am constantly going somewhere and I'm never at rest. Tonight, I'm supposed to be at "Mom Connection", and I know I could really benefit from going to it. To tell you the truth, the thought of getting into my car and driving there through the exhaustion that I'm already experiencing does not appeal to me.

I am physically and emotionally exhausted. I am seriously hanging there by a thread. Every day I wake up and plaster on the fake smile and prepare to say "everything is fine" when someone asks me how I am or how my family is, when I just want to scream or cry instead.

I know that God doesn't give us more than we can handle. I KNOW that, but right now it sure doesn't feel that way.


  1. I feel overwhelmed for you just reading your post. The tears are good...might as well get them out....maybe a good chat with your sister....maybe some Dove Peppermint Bark chocolate. I'll remember to pray for you....being a mom is hard, so hard at times, and we all need each other's prayers (even if they're screamed @ God sometimes). Hang in there!

  2. I'm sorry, Jenna! You have had to deal with so much crap in your life, and it's not fair! We pray for you and love your family. I think sometimes you just need to let yourself have that breakdown and it helps you to feel better.

  3. I know how you feel Jenna, speaking as a mom with a special needs child who has seen or continues to be seen by a cardiologist, a neurologist, a rehab doctor, (used to see a gastroentelogist), an endocrinologist, a speech therapist, an occupational therapist, a nutritionist (dietician), many physical therapists, a cv surgeon, and an othamologist and developmental therapist. It's doing what's best for your child, even when you wish you didn't have to have all these other people involved. Take any time you can for yourself, i know that's minimal and hard to come by, but I know that a good cry here and there feels like. For me, it always helped release what i was keeping inside. God chose you for Juliana and you are all going to get through this! :) Thinking of you - Christina

  4. I personally have no idea how you are feeling, Jenna. I am praying for you. I squirm when I hear the phrase that God doesn't give us more than we can handle. I know that is in the Bible in regards to temptation but as for the rest of life, isn't it more like God doesn't give us more than He can handle? Without Him, I know I can't even get through most days. I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me. - Phil 4:13. Outside of temptation, I'm still looking for that verse that shows me God won't give me more than I can handle. It just helps me through the day to know I can handle NOTHING outside of Him. I'm sorry you are going through so much. Feel free to say "no" to people so you can focus on your family. You have every right! We missed you at Mom Connection but I'm certain you made the right choice. Praying you can get some rest this week!