This Little Light Of Mine...

On Sundays we take two cars to church. This way, after the first service, Ryan can take both kids home and get Juliana down for her nap (if she needs one- she's starting to give up the morning nap) or get her fed, while I serve in the 2's and 3's room during the second service. Noah usually chooses to ride to church in the "man car" with Ryan. The "man car" is Ryan's Honda Civic stick shift. They listen to Veggie Tales on the way to church.

Today, Noah chose to ride in the car with me. He asked to listen to the Veggies on the way to church, so I put them on. Normally, I don't take the time to pay attention to what Veggie Tale song is playing, because they were on all the time this summer, but today I did. The first song was, "If You're Happy and You Know It..." and I noticed Noah was singing along and clapping his hands, stomping his feet, and doing what else the song told him to do. The next song was, "This Little Light Of Mine..." I noticed Noah was singing the words too.

Then he asked me, "let it shine till Jesus comes? When is Jesus coming, Momma?" I told him that I didn't know, that no one knows when Jesus will come. So Noah gave me his standard answer, "Maybe tomorrow, Momma". Then I pulled into a parking spot at church, and Ryan opened Noah's side of the van, and Noah said, "I'm gonna let my light shine, Daddy!"

Have a great week!

Just Plain Tired...

Recently, Ryan and I saw the movie, "Date Night". It was fairly funny, with a few inappropriate scenes that were not needed as are in most movies these days. There is a scene where Steve Carrell and Tina Fey are driving to the city for their big night, and Steve tells Tina that his"dream girl" is Cindy Lauper or someone like that. Then he asks Tina what her fantasy is. She says something along the lines of "being alone in a hotel room with the quietness, away from everyone". Oh my gosh, that is so me lately! The funny thing is, if I was alone with myself, I wouldn't want to be, but I long to be away from the stress of life right now.

The little girl has been on an eating & drinking "strike" since her last projectile, which was Monday. I think her daily totals have been maybe 10 ounces a day and I'm being very generous with my number here. Maybe a little more, maybe a little less. I don't know how she or her little body functions. She is still a little ball of energy climbing the slide, the ladder to the jungle gym, crawling around, but she doesn't eat or drink. All of us adults are busy freaking out about her calories, and she just looks at us, grins and crawls away or cries when we present her with a cup, bottle, or food.

I called the doctor, just because I need peace of mind. I can visibly see that she is doing alright, but I worry about her internally. I teach anatomy & physiology. I know what can happen to your body if you aren't getting the right nutrition. I also know that I have to bring her in to get her weighed on Tuesday. I know what the GI doctor's thoughts are leading to in October if her weight gain isn't sufficient or has declined. There are things I know that I wish I didn't know.

After I answer all the nurse's questions, I'm told that if she goes down to 3 or less wet diapers a day, I need to bring her in. They are just as baffled as I am and cannot understand why she is not dehydrated and listless. She's a little trooper. A stubborn little trooper. I'd say she gets her stubborness from Ryan, but I think my parents would say she gets some of it from me as well, so I guess we can share in the blame.

Needless to say that I am not sleeping well this week. I haven't really been sleeping well since I went back to work, but this week it has been worse. I started waking up wide awake at 4:30 AM, and I mean wide awake. So, I've started running again in the morning- I had been doing that all summer but when school started up again I stopped. This morning, I woke up wide awake at 2:30 AM (after falling asleep at 10:30 PM). I should have gotten up and done some grading that has been piling up on me, but I laid in bed flipping over and over until I figured it was an okay time for me to go for my run. It's kind of peaceful running in the early morning before anyone else is really up, and I am most definitely not a morning person. It has allowed me to clear my mind and focus on God and where He is leading me.

This Is Not A Drill...

Juliana goes through spurts of projectiling. A few weeks ago she was switched to a high calorie drink- Boost 1.5, which she actually will drink. The down side to it, is if she drinks more than 4 ounces at a sitting, she projectiles it. Sometimes she projectiles it if she drinks less than 4 ounces. It's more or less a guessing game. Most of the time "main event" occurs at dinner time. We basically have it down to a science now.

Juliana gets this look on her face, and her mouth forms a perfect "0". Ryan and I immediately move items out of the way at the dinner table, and I grab the "chuck bucket"- if there's time. Noah knows to leave the dinner table and go sit on the couch in the living room (he starts to gag & then that's more vomit to clean up). If it's early into the meal, one of us sets up a tv tray and Noah finishes his dinner in the living room- poor kid. The dogs even know what to do by now. They either go into the living room with Noah or they go and sit on the steps if dinner is mostly over. After she finishes, I get her bath ready and Ryan cleans up her high chair. Noah will come up and help with her bath then.

Now, sometimes it happens while Ryan is putting her to bed. Then the role is reversed. I clean up the room and the floor and Ryan gives her the bath if needed.

Today, we got to do both. I'm not going to lie, it's starting to get a little old. It really is. I think we've cleaned up more vomit in Juliana's 16 months than most people have.

A Day Out With Thomas...

Last year Grandpa Jim got us all tickets to a Day Out With Thomas. Everyone had a great time at it, except Juliana, who was a nightmare. She screamed the the entire time we were there, except when we were riding on Thomas. It didn't help that it was the hottest day in August and Juliana was overheated.

This year, we were bound and determined to not have the "Juliana experience" again, especially since August was heating up again. Ryan came up with a great idea- ice packs. We dressed Juliana in a very light outfit and packed a bunch of ice packs and a towel for the stroller. I know it seems odd to pack your daughter in ice packs, but if you've ever felt Juliana, you've noticed that she runs a bit warmer than most people.

And guess what? EVERYONE had a great time! Juliana even let a nice older man put a tattoo on her arm. Juliana did succeed in melting the ice packs, and she was cooler than the rest of us. She didn't even melt down until right about the time we were going to leave, so it worked out well for us. Noah had an amazing time. I didn't think he could get more excited than he was last year but I was wrong. Plus, since Juliana was in a better mood, we got to tour the train museum, which Noah thought was very cool.

Here are some pictures from our "day out with Thomas". Thanks Frampa!

Rough Morning...

I mentioned in my previous post that my ray of sunshine has had a rough time transitioning to me going back to work. This morning was the worst so far.

We got to Theresa's house and we were walking up to her house. Noah asked me if his little friend Paxton was there. I looked in and said yes, opened the door and waited for Noah to walk in. I waited. And waited. Juliana's car seat was getting heavy, so I dropped her off inside the door and went back out and asked Noah what was going on. He said he wasn't going to go to Theresa's today. I explained to him why he was going to go to Theresa's. Then I began to count. Noah said, "I don't want you to get to 3". I told him that I didn't want to get to 3 either. I don't often get to 3 (it's happened 1 or 2 times). I got to 3.

I went to Noah and he said, "Okay". I took his hand, because I thought okay meant he was going to go inside. I was wrong. So, I followed through with what I had told him was going to happen and took him back to the van. Then we went into Theresa's house, where he proceeded to wrap his arms and legs around me. Theresa literally had to wrestle him off of me while he kicked and cried. She wrestled him onto the couch and held him there so I could leave. I told him I loved him and he started to scream that he wanted a kiss. Theresa let him give me a kiss and then we went through the wrestling again. I could hear him all the way out to the car screaming, "I want my Momma!".

Nothing like a good dose of working-momma guilt along with a strong willed child to start the day.

Back To Work Again...

Where did the summer go? I feel like it never really started for me. Last year, I was happy to go back to work, because Juliana was so difficult with her constant screaming (I know, I'm horrible, go ahead and judge me). Then, we started seeing specialists and I realized she wasn't just a difficult baby and I wasn't a bad mom, she actually had problems, and I wanted to be home... well, part of me did. Part of me was happy to be occupied with my job so that I wasn't constantly worrying about whether or not she had eaten. Then, when I went to see my migraine doctor and she said my stress level and blood pressure were so high she worried about me having a stroke, I was thankful to be at work and not at home because I know it would have been that much higher.

This past Thursday was our first institute day. It started with tears. Noah was on the potty before we left to go to Theresa's. He kept saying he didn't want to go to Theresa's. That he would stay home with the dogs because he was a big boy. That he wanted mama to stay home and play with him all day just like we had all summer. I started to cry. As soon as I started to cry, Noah stopped crying and said, "Momma, stop crying. I want to go Theresa's house. I have fun there. It's okay. We go now." Which of course made me cry even more. When i picked them up at the end of the day, both kids were fine (of course).

On Friday, I literally had to pull Noah kicking and screaming out of his bed (I'm not kidding- he kicked me in the stomach twice and I almost dropped him) to get him up. Fortunately our institute day started at 8, so it was okay that this battle was taking up a large amount of time. After he kicked me, I called my mom. My mom is usually magical to Noah, and can usually talk him down from his naughtiness. Not that day. When I gave him the phone to talk to grandma, he closed it and threw it. Well, at that point I had had it with my little ray of sunshine. I put him on the couch and pulled off his shirt. Noah immediately began to sob and told me he was sorry. He cried so hard he almost threw up. I held him until he calmed down and we talked about how momma wanted to stay home too but had to go back to work so that we could use momma's insurance for Juliana to see all her special doctors and therapists and so Noah could see his special eye doctor and have glasses. After that he asked if we could call "framma" so that he could tell her he was sorry, and we did. Then, I dropped them off at Theresa's...

And went to school with a huge dose of working mom's guilt.

I Blame Jaime & Bill...

Rori and Liam taught Noah how to do this:

Watching Noah, Juliana learned how to do this:

Now if we track back through what I have typed, the only question that needs to be asked and answered is this: who taught Rori and Liam how to climb a slide? The answer is found in the title of this post.

Nuff said.