Thursday, September 9, 2010

Just Plain Tired...

Recently, Ryan and I saw the movie, "Date Night". It was fairly funny, with a few inappropriate scenes that were not needed as are in most movies these days. There is a scene where Steve Carrell and Tina Fey are driving to the city for their big night, and Steve tells Tina that his"dream girl" is Cindy Lauper or someone like that. Then he asks Tina what her fantasy is. She says something along the lines of "being alone in a hotel room with the quietness, away from everyone". Oh my gosh, that is so me lately! The funny thing is, if I was alone with myself, I wouldn't want to be, but I long to be away from the stress of life right now.

The little girl has been on an eating & drinking "strike" since her last projectile, which was Monday. I think her daily totals have been maybe 10 ounces a day and I'm being very generous with my number here. Maybe a little more, maybe a little less. I don't know how she or her little body functions. She is still a little ball of energy climbing the slide, the ladder to the jungle gym, crawling around, but she doesn't eat or drink. All of us adults are busy freaking out about her calories, and she just looks at us, grins and crawls away or cries when we present her with a cup, bottle, or food.

I called the doctor, just because I need peace of mind. I can visibly see that she is doing alright, but I worry about her internally. I teach anatomy & physiology. I know what can happen to your body if you aren't getting the right nutrition. I also know that I have to bring her in to get her weighed on Tuesday. I know what the GI doctor's thoughts are leading to in October if her weight gain isn't sufficient or has declined. There are things I know that I wish I didn't know.

After I answer all the nurse's questions, I'm told that if she goes down to 3 or less wet diapers a day, I need to bring her in. They are just as baffled as I am and cannot understand why she is not dehydrated and listless. She's a little trooper. A stubborn little trooper. I'd say she gets her stubborness from Ryan, but I think my parents would say she gets some of it from me as well, so I guess we can share in the blame.

Needless to say that I am not sleeping well this week. I haven't really been sleeping well since I went back to work, but this week it has been worse. I started waking up wide awake at 4:30 AM, and I mean wide awake. So, I've started running again in the morning- I had been doing that all summer but when school started up again I stopped. This morning, I woke up wide awake at 2:30 AM (after falling asleep at 10:30 PM). I should have gotten up and done some grading that has been piling up on me, but I laid in bed flipping over and over until I figured it was an okay time for me to go for my run. It's kind of peaceful running in the early morning before anyone else is really up, and I am most definitely not a morning person. It has allowed me to clear my mind and focus on God and where He is leading me.


  1. You guys are still in my prayers. I hope those runs help you draw close to God. What a difficult long season for you.

  2. We love you, and my prayers go up to the One who knows why and what and how....

  3. She is your miracle baby--she shouldn't be thriving, but she is, thank God. We will keep praying for strength for you and Ryan.