My Heart...

This week has been rough. Noah has reverted to his behavior of right when I returned to work. Every morning has been a battle of tears and mean words from his mouth. The minute I walk through the door at Theresa's to pick them up, he starts to cry and tell me that he's mad at me. To add to all of that, Juliana lost weight- not a lot, but it was still a blow at a time I didn't need. Then, until the time Ryan comes home from work, Noah continues to say mean/hurtful things to me, spending much time in time out.

During Juliana's therapy on Monday, he walked right up to me and slapped me in the face and refused to apologize. He then spent 20 minutes in his room- I kept asking him if he was ready to apologize and he kept telling me no. I know why he's doing it. He's not getting enough attention, and I really don't know how to get him more attention right now. During the summer it was easier, because Juliana would spend a few hours a week at Theresa's house and Noah and I would go out to breakfast and do something special together. Now that I'm back at work, time after work is spent going to Juliana's therapies or doctor's appointments. We do make time on the weekends for special one on one time with Noah, but it's not enough.

Tonight I had planned on going to the Mom Connection meeting. I had missed the first meeting because it was parent's night at school, so I had really been looking forward to it all week. I was all set to go, and then Noah melted down while Ryan was up putting Juliana to bed. He cried begging me not to go, telling me he wanted "Momma, Noah time". What was it he wanted to do? He wanted to eat some goldfish crackers, snuggle on Momma's bed, and watch some tv. How was I supposed to leave? So, we spent the next hour laying on the bed watching tv. Then I got him ready for bed, and he had me read to him about Jesus. While I read to him, he laid his head on my arm. While I really needed the time with some women tonight, I wouldn't have traded this time with Noah for anything.