Numb...

We decided to take the Chili Dawg back to the vet yesterday because his limp was getting worse.  We thought maybe he had broken something or torn something.  Neither of us were expecting what we were told.

I was reading Noah his last story when Ryan came home with Chili.  He came upstairs and I could tell by the look on his face that it wasn't good.  I finished the story and looked at Ryan.  "The vet is pretty sure it's bone cancer.  It's in his leg.  We have to take him to an oncologist to confirm it with a biopsy.  It hasn't spread to his lungs yet.  There is a very small chance it could be a cyst but it's highly unlikely."  "How long?"  "Probably 6-8 months."

I felt my dinner starting to come up and I had to leave the room.  I heard Noah ask, "What's wrong with Momma?"  I made it to the bathroom and vomited.  When I came out, Chili was laying on the floor of our room and I buried my head in his fur and cried and cried.

I spent the evening crying and holding the Chili Dawg while Ryan researched the cancer.  It looks like amputation may be the best route, but we will have to wait and see what the oncologist says, especially since it will only alleviate his pain. 

I am not ready to part with my Chili Dawg yet and am still numb from the news.  It doesn't seem fair.  If you're not an animal person you obviously won't understand.  Don't tell me he's just a dog because you won't like my response.