Friday, October 15, 2010

Eight Years Ago...

Eight years ago, today, I woke up with a horrible migraine. I took some migraine medicine & went into the bathroom. That is the last thing that I remember. Ryan says that I woke him up. I was crawling on the floor of the bedroom holding my head and asking him to call me in to school over and over. I was slurring my words. I had a huge bump on my forehead and on the back of my head. We guess that I may have fainted in the shower hitting my head and then got up too quickly and fell again hitting my head another time. Like I said, I don't remember. I try to remember but I can't.

I was in one of my best friends weddings three days before that. Here's a picture. I even spoke at the reception. I see pictures of myself there, but I don't remember being there, which makes me sad. Sorry, Jules, I don't remember being in your wedding :-(

I don't remember anything for several weeks after I hit my head. I remember little things, like getting lost on the way to the CT scan and Ryan having to leave work to come look for me (I used to be good with directions), forgetting how to get dressed, walking away from the stove while the burner was on, but I only remember those things because Ryan told me they happened. I really don't remember anything for about a month after I hit my head.

I had to relearn how to do things. I kept directions on how to get to and from work taped to my steering wheel, with my phone number taped there as well. I wrote out what I was going to say to my classes word-for-word every night (I should have taken a leave of absence, but I didn't know any better). Finally, my mom convinced me to tell my migraine doctor what had happened, which is what I should have done to begin with. As soon as I told Dr. Merle what had happened and that I was having memory problems, she got the ball rolling. She ordered an MRI, an EEG (I have a history of seizures), she ordered all sorts of tests. One of them involved me spending 8 hours in a room feeling dumber than I thought I could ever feel, but it proved beyond a doubt that I had lost my short term memory.

I'd like to say that since then it's been all sunshine and roses, but it hasn't. I went through some horrible depression. Fortunately with the help of some medicine and a very special golden retriever I snapped out of that. I had rage issues, and sometimes I still do. I don't have a filter anymore, but for the most part I've learned to compensate for it (although from my previous post you can see that sometimes I still falter). One of the things that helps keep me sane is my calendar and color-coding. People keep telling me to go digital and get a PDA, but I need to be able to see the dates for the entire month or I get overwhelmed and begin to freak out. Here's my calendar for the month of October.

For those of you curious about what the colors stand for, here's a break down:
Pink = Juliana's doctor appointments, Green = Juliana's therapies,
Orange = Before School meetings, Light blue Wednesdays = Doctor appointment,
Dark Blue (yes there's a difference that doesn't show up on camera) = Mandatory School Supervision/Institute Days/No School,
Yellow = Birthday's/Anniversaries/Mom Connection, Purple Pen= Swim Lessons. See why I need to see the entire month at a time?

This is about how my calendar looks every month. Sometimes there are more doctor's appointments in there, like if Noah needs to see the eye doctor or dentist or if I have to see a doctor or dentist or if Juliana needs weight checks, sometimes there are no doctor's appointments in there (those months are VERY nice).


  1. You are amazing and so organized and I am so proud of you!

  2. You have come a long long way from that date Punky. I am very proud of you!! And, you might want to mention that you had 2 fabulous kids along the way!

  3. I would need to do that with my calendar if I had as much going on as you guys, and my memory just has regular deterioration! I'm proud of you!

  4. You are awesome and an inspiration to all. I will never, ever, ever forget you and I still consider you a "long distance" friend!