Praying For Peace...

When I had the flu last week, we decided to send the kids to Theresa's on Friday so that they would be away from me and have less of a chance of getting infected. Friday passed with little incidence and we honestly thought we were in the clear.

Saturday morning we discovered we were mistaken. Ryan went in to get Juliana to discover her covered in vomit and diarrhea. The one kid that could not afford to get the flu now appeared to have it. She then proceeded to projectile after every bottle for the remainder of the day, which is different than vomiting from the flu, trust me, I think I'm fairly educated on the subject by now.

Needless to say, I wanted to punch something and scream the "F" word at the top of my lungs. Not because I had to clean up projectile, please, that has become a regular part of our life by now (although she did go almost a month without doing it which was nice), but because this Friday I will be taking her to Children's to see Dr. Fishbien and he will be looking at all her weight checks for the last 2 months and deciding whether or not he wants to put a G-tube in her stomach. I've never really been nervous about one of these appointments before, but this time I am scared. One of her weight checks showed her losing weight, not a lot, but she still lost weight. Her most recent weight check had her at 17 lbs 15 ounces, but now she's had the flu, diarrhea, and has projectiled daily since Saturday. I am afraid that her weight will have gone down once again, because her diapers have barely been wet all weekend and I'll say it again, I am scared. I don't want a G-tube put in my daughter, but I do want to do what ever is best for her to grow and develop and right now she is basically not growing. She has been in 6-9 month clothing since this spring and she's going to be 18 months at the end of this month.

Yesterday during communion at church, I prayed for peace for this week. I am a nervous wreck about this Friday appointment and I don't want to be. I know that whatever God has in His plan for Juliana is what is best for her and our family.