Sunday, May 30, 2010
I don't know about you, but I think I got heat stroke yesterday sitting out under the sun. I felt weird for the rest of the day.
Today is our first official day without you. Yesterday, we loaded up your parents' car with your things and said tearful goodbyes. You guys were smart, and distracted Noah with the Buzz Lightyear sprinkler, which he loves. I know that Noah doesn't really understand that you won't live with us anymore. He thinks your parents are "just visiting" and that you "will come to church with us" today. I saw how happy you were to be with your mom and dad, and that made letting you go ten times easier.
It was such a pleasure having you stay with us these past two months. You are an amazing young lady. Your parents have done a terrific job molding you into the young lady that you are today.
Please drive safely as you go back home. Our house is always open to you and your family, and hopefully one day, when everything with Juliana has calmed down a bit, we will come and visit you and your wonderful family.
Good-bye, Holly. We miss and love you.
P.S. It's not just us four that miss you. Liam asked Jaime if you were coming to Florida with all of us this summer.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
In a little less than seven hours, you and I will walk out onto the football field with the rest of your classmates. We will sit and bake in the sun; you in your blue and white gown, and me in my black gown with my even hotter hood on (why do we have to wear polyester?!?). We will listen to various speeches given by the principal, classmates, and the chosen staff member (I still can't believe I was a finalist, what were you guys thinking?!?). We will stand up row by row and applaud as each name is called to receive a diploma, and cry when they recognize Eric's family and we remember that he is not with us anymore. Then, we will all file out of the stadium and back into the field house where chaos will ensue. Graduates will turn in their gowns and receive their actual diplomas, and staff members will hang out to hand back whatever we held onto (or confiscated) from our assigned row of students. In the chaos that will ensue, classmates will be hugging each other, crying, and saying things like, "keep in touch," or "see you at the party later"!
To me it will be bittersweet, because while I know it is time for you to be back with your family, it will still be hard to let you go. Holly, you have been such a blessing to our family, and there is no way we could possibly thank you for all you have done for us these past 2 months. When you leave us tomorrow, there will be a definite void in our family.
We love you, Holly. Congratulations!
Friday, May 28, 2010
Or should I say "Howeeeeee", which is how Noah says your name when he is only playing with you? I felt bad that last night when you asked Noah if he wanted to go get ice cream with you, he said, "no". Please know that had Ryan not been out of town, I'm sure he would have said, "yes" in a heart beat. Of course, being the sweetheart that you are, you still went out and got him a "tasty tasty", which he enjoyed eating with you.
Normally, Noah only likes to "snuggle" when he doesn't feel well, but with you around, he snuggles all the time... with you. I'm sure that once you leave, none of us will get any snuggle time with Noah. Below are some pictures that show the special bond between you and Noah. I hope you like them.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
You know that Noah has developed a bit of a crush on you. I knew it would happen, but I didn't realize it would happen so fast. The morning after you moved in, Noah's first question was, "Holly up yet, Momma?". I knew we were in "trouble" when about a week in, Noah said, "Night, night, Holly. Love you!"
I think one of Noah's favorite times with you is when you guys play "dragons" after Juliana goes to bed. I remember coming downstairs, and you and Noah were sitting on the couch, under blankets, and you were showing Noah how to shoot the catapult. You said, "Don't hit your mom," as you let the play rock launch and hit me. The expression on your face was priceless, which is why I am including this picture in the blog.
Another one of Noah's favorite times is when you play on the jungle gym with him. He loves when you swing with him, or go down the slide with him. His face radiates pure joy. You have been an excellent sister to him. I know I don't need to tell you how much he is going to miss you.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Holly, you are a such a special young lady. You aren't like most teenagers these days, and it's a really nice quality. Rori Rose will miss her special friend when you move.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
I'm not going to lie, it's been a rough year for our family. I never thought my little girl would have as many issues as she has had. Back in March, I was fighting an ongoing battle with depression. Then, you asked if you could still move in with us. Ryan and I talked about it, and prayed about it, and even asked our pastor for his input. Before you moved in, I wasn't sure how it would work out. Would it be awkward? Would it be uncomfortable?
Monday, May 24, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
The last time Juliana saw this doctor was April 2. She weighed 16 lbs. As of yesterday, her weight was the same 16 lbs. I was glad that she hadn't lost any weight, but I started to worry about what the doctor was going to think and suggest.
Let's just say he was not happy in the least about her weight. After a short visit with me, he told he would be "right back". We waited...and waited...and weighted. I sent a text to my dad and to Ryan letting them know that the doctor wasn't happy. Finally, the doctor came back.
He wanted us to see another specialist (I think that's doctor #6 at this point). The reason it had taken him so long to come back to the room, was because he had called the doctor and left her a message that he wanted Juliana seen ASAP. Not being satisified with just a message, he then sent her an email saying the same thing. He told me that he wanted to get this doctor's insight before he made the decision to put Juliana on a feeding tube.
A feeding tube. He explained to me that she wasn't getting enough calories to sustain herself. The more he talked, the sadder and angrier I became. In my head I was screaming obsentity after obscentity, and they included all of the words I rarely use. I don't want my little girl on a feeding tube.
So that is where we stand right now... on the brink of a feeding tube or no feeding tube. Insert swear word here...
Friday, May 14, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
I know that all of those seem trivial, no big deal, but to our family these are huge stepping stones for Juliana to cross. When we started with Miss Peggy, feeding Juliana tub foods was a disaster, and getting her to drink was a battle. Miss Peggy introduced us to the vibrating spoon- called a Z-Vibe. With that magical spoon, Juliana began to open her mouth to take the food on the spoon. She also introduced us to the vibrating alligator which also served to get Juliana to open her mouth.
Miss Peggy also told me about Early Intervention when the doctor told us that Juliana needed multiple therapies. Peggy supplied me with the number to get the ball rolling and then once the ball was rolling, she advocated for us. She was able to be one of our evaluators, and was able to write Juliana's paperwork the way it needed to be written to get us the help we needed. She followed up with our coordinator to get the paperwork pushed through to get Juliana's program started so she could see her 2 days a week. She was even able to get Juliana's Physical and Occupational Therapists from the company she is currently with.
Today was our last session with Miss Peggy. She is moving on to branch out on her own. I mentioned in an earlier post that when she had told me, I cried the entire way home. Today was not much different. I, again, saved my tears for the drive home. I never realized how attached I had become to our speech therapist. I did get to meet her replacement and she is a very nice lady, but Peggy is leaving some big shoes to be filled.
If you are looking for a speech therapist, I highly recommend her. You will get results. Thanks, Peggy for everything. You have made a difference in our little girl's life, and we appreciate it.